metztlimoon: (Default)

has made me livid. If you care about freedom of sexuality and about the attitude of this government to asylum seekers facing execution for it, find and petition online. Please.

The bank charged me 250 quid a week ago for various things, despite my pointing out why my finances are in disarray right now. This took me over my od limit so I had to get a dss crisis loan to pay to get to work. I have to do same thing next week.

I collapsed on Wednesday and had to go to Manchester A&E- my ears have fucked up again but have settled a bit. now.  Missed about 80 quid of work due to it. though.

I spilt stuff all over me and the train on Friday because of useless hand combined with no balance, got badmouthed by the other passengers. I feel very crap because of my ineptitude. Stupid hand. I am now afraid of rush hour trains.

Actually roleplayed a character at a friend's steampunk LARP at the weekend, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Martyring oneself is therapeutic.

Am somewhat sweet on someone who'll never be interested. Thought I was over it, but no. Everytime I see them I want to hold them and never let go. Course, I haven't told them but it's so obviously a no, I can't see the point in wrecking a friendship for it. I should grow up.

Have applied to do a flexi QTS course to do Secondary RE. For some reason this makes a lot of sense to me.
metztlimoon: (Default)
All over the front pages... Anti depressants don't work.

I'm livid at the way the story was reported. Absolutely  fucking LIVID. And I'm not so sure of the motivations behind it, either.

I know what placebo means. But I also know that my drugs work.

I leave the last word to my GP, with whom I raised this discussion this morning. He knows my background in science and with depression, and we discussed that I was concerned about the irresponsibility of the press in this issue. He's expecting suicides as people just stop taking the tablets. I was talking about the news coverage and he said

"It's news. It sells papers. I've not read it. It's going to be a load of shit."


Jul. 5th, 2007 10:17 am
metztlimoon: (Default)

The banner  belongs to Backlash,, an organisation that exists to campaign against unnecessary censorship.  The government is intending on criminalising 'extreme pornography'. Now I know a lot of people might think this is a good thing, and it indeed doesn't criminalise anything not already banned by the obscene publications act.

The Internet is a tricky thing to police. I'll admit that. But I do have to admit that the proposed legislation
seems somewhat badly drawn.  It is a response to a case where a man who watched extreme pornography killed a teacher and did unpleasant things to her corpse.

It is my opinion that the actions of this unhinged individual are leading to an action by the government that threatens the rights and liberties of the many thousands of individuals who find gratification in unusual, but consensual ways. It seems that whenever someone commits a shocking crime and has a minority interest, all others with that minority interest are subsequently (if they weren't already) regarded with suspicion.   I don't like this. 

the family of the victim make the plaintive statement, she would be alive if it wasn't for the internet. I cannot even begin to understand what a horrfic experience it has been for those people and for the terrified victim.

What I can say is that if it wasn't for the internet, there are people who would be dead. People who have found friendship, understanding and support in their darkest times. People who have found health information, safety information, quit smoking or quit drugs, people who have been inspired to become doctors and carers and life savers. The Internet is not to blame.
There are people who have no doubt used the internet to calm their rages and their violence without striking out.
There are people, I don't doubt, who have developed their wrongness through images on the internet, exactly as they would have done through whichever outlet was provided them- violent gangs, the armed forces, torturing animals, alcohol, music played backwards and subliminal mesasges in tv commercials. And it's not above these people- these criminals- to claim the Internet made me do it because in our society it's always someone elses fault. Two hundred years ago it was 'the demons possed me' and you can follow the progression, blame what people are suspicious of.

If people really cannot tell the difference between consensual 'violence' and going out and killing someone, if they really are so easily led astray by images, and fictions (i HAVE TO SAY THOUGH, PRODUCERS OF EXTREME IMAGES, PLEASE MAKE IT BLOODY OBVIOUS THAT YOUR FICTIONS ARE JUST THAT) then surely the solution is not criminalisation but education.

(Have to say, personally, not sure I am all for having sex with dead bodies. If it's something someone wants to play at, of fantasize about, then go ahead.  You want to actually dig up a body or kill someone, you're a sicko. Why? Because they don't consent and you're upsetting other people, and oh yeah, killing people isn't fair, right, or consensual.)

To give proper emphasis to choice, and to consent, and empowerment to say no. 

To point out that some men and women (yes, both men and women) enjoy of their own free will, submission and domination.

And to point out that if you are not there by your own free will, then by gods you'll be taken seriously and not treated like dirt by the authorities when you tell them.

There. Little rant over. Except to add, why is it allowable to show people killing and dying in movies for teenagers, but not people fucking, or having a hard on? Oh no, you can't show erections, the horror! Women would be uncontrollable because they are inherently sexually vulnerable and all the men would have to wank furiously because they saw it on the big screen!

metztlimoon: (Default)
I started work her officially on the first of November. because I had actually done a week's work prior to that, its been arranged that my start date would be adjusted.

In november I got 2 weeks pay because of how pay works. This I would get at the end of december, for christmas. (it happened, but I was over my OD limit again because I couldn't eat and pay my rent on half a salary)

this didn't happen in december, but because the pay is processed early, it was too late.

it was too late in january as well, because no one was back in work until it was too late, but it would definately be in february's pay

february's pay does not contain it.

I NEED that money.  Which means my OD is still maxed out, (I have asked to extend, my income is too erratic, apparently) which means the person that the OD was arranged to pay is still waiting for their money, which means I am still angsting over the complex set of circumstances.... now of course compounded by the mysterious reappearence of a bailiffs letter from where I used to live for council tax in which I am being pursued but not the person who was there resident with me at the time. I NEED that money because at the moment I have to pay my bills and once I have done so because of having to pay the OD person, I will be eating crusts from outside macDonalds and sleeping in an empty wardrobe.

i am 400 quid away from sleeping at nights, getting on with the things I can't get on with for various reasons until this matter resolves, stop giving everyone reason to assume I'm INSANE, and from the bank repossessing my bloody FEET or something.

Meanwhile, I am still single and frustrated and feeling all a bit old and past it. I have become the lonely cat woman, and a job, and a fantasy life and bugger all else.

But at least I have a job

At least I have cats

And at least the slash readers like me........


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September 2015



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