Fic: Ashes of Gallifrey ; Dust of Eden 5/5

[metztlimoon]

Author: Metztlimoon
Characters: Tenth Doctor, OCs, Special guest star
Rating: Contains adult concepts.
Wordcount: 17,000 in 13 chapters (and a bit)
Summary: The Doctor is injured and stranded on a planet that's been ravaged by a race with an unknown purpose. Working with the woman who found him to solve the mystery and save the planet, the Doctor comes to believe they're also fighting an old friend. (Set after Voyage of the Damned.)
Beta: kahtyasofiaYou have been awesome from the first moment. Thank you.
With Thanks to: blaiyzed, Zebedee, kwizbit, ficfinishing
A/N : This is a first person fic from the viewpoint of the main OC. It had been sitting a third done on the hard drive for over a year, until ficfinishing came along and gave me confidence and inspiration. Kat also deserves thanks for the awesome title as well as everything else :)

Part ONE is HERE
Part TWO is HERE
Part THREE is HERE
Part FOUR is HERE

 

Twelve

 

I was hardly in a position to help myself, let alone him, but still I knelt down to take his hand. The Doctor’s pulse was weak, erratic and rapid. I slipped my hand under his head and dropped the other over the reopened injury on his side. When I drew my hand back, he winced in pain and my fingers were dark with blood.

“I thought I had longer,” he said.

“No,” I say, “no way do you give up now.”

“Who said anything about giving up?” he asked, “All I need to do is get to the TARDIS. She's only lost in the city somewhere. Can't be that hard to find her.”

He tried to get to his feet but failed miserably. I wasn’t sure I could support anything but my own weight. Still, I looped his arm over my shoulder.

“Grant, help me.”

He looked away from his stars.

“Told you, girls can't carry,” he joked, catching my arm as I swayed sideways and nearly lost my footing. He took most of the Doctor's weight and we lifted him between us.

Grant moved to walk towards the building, but I stopped him, pointing into the city. “No. That way.”

People were coming outside now, their minds full of questions and I couldn’t bear their stupid thoughts crowding into my head.

“Eve, they're going to be going crazy in there. We have to tell them what's happening.”

“Fine,” I said, shifting the Doctor back onto my shoulder, “you tell them. I'll manage.”

I'd gone a few steps when Grant turned back to look at me, “Tell them what?”

“I don't know, okay? I don't fucking know. Tell them their leader's betrayed them, their medic is a fraud, and the only thing she actually wants is for them to shut up and get out of her head. Tell them the man who's trying to save them isn't human at all. Tell them to do whatever it is they always planned to do on the day the world ended. Because if he...”

Dies. I couldn’t bring myself to say it, afraid that saying it would make it truth. I took a long, stuttering breath.

Grant kissed me on the forehead, “I'll tell them you'll be back.”

***

The city was eerie; spires of shattered glass, once blinding, now white and silver in the diffuse glow of the lights. I dragged the Doctor through the silence, jumping at unfamiliar echoes and afraid of new shadows, working from a half memory of a location I didn't even really know at all.

The first time he stumbled he muttered at me to keep going no matter what he said.

“You stupid, ignorant, human,” were his next words, “I fucking hate your species. Half of the time I wonder if the reason I didn't let him wipe you out was just because he wanted to so much. You're just full of hurt, pain, and need; bleating at the universe to be nice to you while you destroy everything you touch! You can't help yourselves. You want it and you take it because you can't bear to think for one minute how pathetically fragile your tiny little lives are. How small and pointless. Just stop it, stop bothering me. I don't care. I really don't.”

“Right,” I said, “drop you and let you die here, yes?”

“Go ahead,” he said.

I didn’t.

The second time he tripped, he was shaking so violently I had to let him fall, protecting him as best I could. He was barely breathing and, in the low light, I could see traces of black mottling his fingers and staining his skin.

He lifted his hand and studied the markings.

“Don't die,” I said, “we need you. When they get their power back we can't do anything against them.”

“The instability is in the last stages. It's too late. There's nothing I can do.” I could tell he was trying to distance himself from it, but he couldn’t keep the fear from his voice. “All the years, all the memories in these old bones. Just so much dust.”

This time, I had no anger to protect myself from the cold realisation he really was going to die, and there really wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it. I lay down next to him and rested my head against his chest. He wrapped his arm round my shoulder. At least he didn’t seem to be in pain anymore and I didn’t feel anything but a need to just...give in.

“Oh, Eve. I'm so sorry,” he said, “you should go back to the others. If you're smart, you can still run. Keep holding out.”

“For what?”

Fear/protect/time/here/close

I lifted my head. “Did you hear that?”

He sat up, light suddenly coming on in his eyes, “Yes!” He put both hands on my shoulders with a renewed strength. “Up. Help me up.”

Waiting/quiet/here

She was hidden in shadows; half a street away, set back against a wall. I could almost see past; my eyes slid off until I realised she was what I was looking for and suddenly, I wondered how I hadn’t seen her much earlier.

The Doctor stepped forward; I threw my arm in front of him. “Cobalt was here. Remember?”

He hesitated. Five years of occupation had taught me this if nothing else; I threw a handful of light dust into the air and, aided by the darkness Cobalt couldn’t have planned for, the laser trip wire became obvious enough to avoid.

The Doctor collapsed forward onto the box. He rested his hands against the door, sliding one onto the frame above the word POLICE and coming away with a key.

“Knew I'd be grateful for that spare,” he said, happily.

He stepped inside and I followed. I couldn’t help but think this was going to be very cramped, until the sense of space hit me before I ever truly saw it.

Fuck.

For a man at death's door (alien, I reminded myself, dear Gods, definitely alien) he strode up the ramp with a surprising vigour. Seeing me staring he reached back, his other hand resting among the dials and levers of the central console.

It's huge!

“Welcome to the TARDIS, Eve,” he said, with a grin; activating some switch or other until the room flooded with light and a gentle, reassuring hum.

Gods. My head hurts.

My head hurts... less.

He tried to turn with a flourish but he was still broken and he crashed to the deck plate as the central column started to move.

“I've moved us back to your tunnels,” he said weakly, “I need to...” He arched his back off the floor, “I need to... restabilise, using the TARDIS’s energy as a template.”

“Okay,” I said, dumbly.

His fingers brushed my hand, “I have to be alone for this.”

I was confused and I didn’t want to leave him.

“I'll be fine. Really. Fine. You might not be if you stay.”

The tone of his voice was enough to convince me I should go. I got slowly to my feet and headed towards the door.

He started screaming as I reached the threshold but I forced myself to close the door behind me.

Once outside of his ship, I couldn’t find the energy to do anything but sit with my back against the door. I only half-focused on the fact that I was on the workshop mezzanine, some five kilometres and three minutes from where we first entered the ship. I was so tired; emotionally drained, physically exhausted. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should be doing something, but I couldn’t hold back the dawn, I couldn’t send the Jars away. All I could do was wait for the Doctor.

And that? It worries me how readily I accept it.

I couldn’t be bothered to move. I fell asleep right where I lay.

Thirteen

 

I was woken by Grant –fair’s fair, I suppose- who sat down next to me and handed me a bottle of water. It tasted of dust but I was grateful for the liquid anyway.

“You look like shit, hon,” he said.

“I feel like shit.”

He looked at the TARDIS behind me. “Is that it?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s… compact.”

“I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.” Although I think you’d love to see it. That thought made me smile.

“Is he okay?”

“I don’t know.”

Grant took a long breath, “We’re in trouble Eve,” he said. “The sun came up half an hour ago, and there’s a Jar ship heading right for us. A big one. Jay’s trying to organise some sort of fight.”

“He'll get us all killed.”

“I don't think he cares.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s in the hall.”

I got to my feet, my thoughts racing.

“Eve, what are you doing?”

“I think I’m either going to help him or stop him,” I said.

Every one of us had cause to hate them and hell, most of us would have happily gone out screaming death to the Jars. On the edge of my consciousness I heard people, running through every fantasy of violent revenge. It swept through me, finding the part of me that wanted to see every last filthy one of them burning. I wanted them dead and I didn’t care how it ended beyond that.

Inside of me, some deeper need for survival wanted to buy us, and the Doctor, time.

It wasn’t until we reached the hall I realised Grant was holding my hand and I knew what it was I was going to say.

“Nobody fight them,” I said, surprised at how loud and clear my voice sounded. “Nobody do anything. Just…let them come.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” asked Jay.

“I'm trying to keep us alive,” I stood in front of him and rested my hand on the muzzle of his weapon, “put it down or we're all dead.”

“They're going to kill us all anyway,” he said.

“If they wanted to do that they'd have bombed us to oblivion and never set foot here. They know we've got an edge now. They know we've got help.” I glanced back at the way I'd just come. I couldn’t hear either of them. I hope we still do.

“You can't know that.”

“Yes, I can. Put the gun down.”

Grant put his hand on Jay's shoulder, “Dead later is better than dead now, mate,” he said.

Jay slung the blaster over his shoulder, away from view. Around the hall, the others followed, letting whatever weapons they had found fall onto the floor. As I looked at them, it hurt to see this tiny group of survivors cowed again, backing up against the walls. It hurt to see them lose the last of their hope. What was left of mine could be dead behind closed doors but I was keeping hold of it until the last possible moment.

I heard the ship settling outside, watched fear in the eyes of the people in the hall as mottled shadows fell onto the marble floor. Three Jars stood in the entrance and behind them; numerous shapes warned they had not come unaccompanied.

I was still clinging onto hope but burning with rage when I saw the first one of them walk into the hall. I hadn’t seen one this close since the morning Ben died, and it turned my stomach. My fingers were itching to tear, and smash, and shatter.

“Who is the designated negotiator?” it buzzed.

No one moved but several people looked in my direction.

“You will provide a designated negotiator.”

I hope I can achieve something by this; something other than a quick death. I am not letting the past few days end in nothing.

I took a breath and stepped onto the floor, which is when the Doctor tapped my shoulder from out of nowhere. The rush of relief made me light-headed.

“I think this is my job,” he said, as he walked into the middle of the floor.

He was walking strongly now; back in the clothes he’d had when I found him, or at least an identical set. He briefly caught my eye and grinned before he turned back to face the alien patrol.

“It's me you want to talk to,” he said.

“What's he going to do?” Grant whispered.

“Fuck knows,” I replied.

“This resistance must cease. We will relocate the survivors to a safe location.”

“Well, that's a generous offer,” the Doctor said, “very generous, I think, under the circumstances.”

“You are negotiating sensibly.”

The Doctor’s demeanour shifted. The smile faded and the jovial tone became quiet, clear and cold. It sent a shiver down my spine. “I'm not negotiating. I'm not here to negotiate. I'm here to make you leave.”

“You do not have the authority or the power to make us leave.”

“You're using illegal weapons. They're ripping things from the vortex,” he said accusingly. “If the Time Agency were prepared to wipe out this entire planet to cover up its secret, what exactly do you think the Shadow Proclamation would do if they found you here with temporal missiles?”

“The Human Empire is not a member of the Shadow Proclamation at this time.”

“What's that got to do with it? It's still a protected era. Should I contact them and find out?”

Ripples of consternation moved through the Jars, one stepped forward next to the leader and whispered something to him before stepping back.

“The Human Empire itself is not concerned by our presence here. The Shadow Proclamation will not intervene in a territorial dispute over one planet.”

The Doctor faltered for just a second, “Then I'm telling you to stop what you're doing and go home.”

“And which agency do you represent?”

“Agency? Oh, I'm my own agency. I represent the people that make up the dust you've been ripping up from the ground here.”

The impact of that sank in, not so much for us, but the Jars seemed disturbed by it.

“Oh, so you did do a little bit of research. Didn't just find traces of energy in the soil here and think ‘oh, we're having ourselves a bit of that’. You know exactly what it is you're trying to turn into a weapon.” He paused for a moment. “No, it’s not just a weapon, is it?”

“Correct. We have little interest in warfare, our primary purpose is propagation.”

“Propagation? What do you need time-travel for? There’s a thousand bare rock worlds you could colonise.”

“We seek to implant ourselves into an earlier time.”

“Ahhh, I see. Build an empire before anyone else has the chance ensure yourselves superiority over any subsequent race? Now, where have I heard that before? I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that.”

“You are just one man.”

“Time Lord,” he corrected, “just one Time Lord. One very angry Time Lord. And do you know what I do when I'm very angry?”

Silence from the Jars, but there was fear there too.

“I become the storm,” the Doctor hissed, “the storm that destroys planets and annihilates species. The storm that will not hear your cries for mercy. ”

“Is that true?” Grant whispered.

“It’s true,” I said, even if it was only in that moment I’d realised it.

“One chance,” the Doctor said, “leave now.”

The Jars looked down into the dust and stepped backwards, conferring rapidly in buzzing, frantic voices. “We will withdraw.”

“You have until nightfall,” the Doctor replied, “and trust me, I'll be watching.”

The Doctor stood motionless, waiting until they had left the hall before turning to look at me. Around us, it was finally sinking in what had just happened; it seemed everyone was there, all at once.

They're leaving.

They're finally leaving.

The Doctor was dragged into the middle of the crowd, grinning like a man who hadn’t just threatened to destroy an entire race. There was clapping and smiling and tears and shock. It was too loud and it made my head hurt. Grant dragged me into a hug but I pushed him away. There are too many people. Too many people pressed too close.

Stillness in the movement, despite his smile, the Doctor’s mind is a note of sadness in the chaos.

 

 

Epilogue

It was hard to adjust to the darkness, standing there above ground and watching the sun set as the last of the carriers lifted off into the atmosphere.

I heard the Doctor approach, but I continued looking at the sunset because it was too beautiful not to.

“I got them to put most of it back but it's made a real mess of the ecosystem,” he said. “It's going to take a long time to make Thrace work again. I've configured the communications system so you can get messages back to the Empire.”

“You think they'll actually come?”

His silence on that was telling enough. He moved until he was standing close behind me.

He’s standing behind me, his arms sliding round my waist and I feel a gentle kiss on my shoulder.

“This is where I kiss you, isn't it?” he asked quietly.

He knows? Of course he knows.

And if he knew that, then he knew all the other flashes of possibility I’d tried to keep secured in my head. I wanted to die of embarrassment. Although I knew there was no chance, hadn’t even really wanted there to be one, my brain tortured me by hanging on to a last shred of anticipation. So I didn’t turn round.

“I'm sorry,” I said, “I’d hoped you hadn’t seen that. You were never supposed to. I was trying to keep it inside but I guess it leaked out in the craziness.”

“It’s all right,” he said, “it's not your fault. Just your DNA, shaped by those tiny particles of my home that changed you, calling out for something it recognised.”

“How very…scientific.”

“You couldn’t have known. I should have.”

“Would it have made a difference either way?”

“No,” he put his hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him, “I'm sorry Eve. I'm sorry that I can't.”

“I know.”

“You could still come with me.”

He’s just as lonely as I am. Probably more so. He destroys planets and saves worlds. I’m an accident of genetics. We’re not what the other needs. I shook my head. “I belong here.”

He nodded, “You’re probably right, but I owe you a ‘thank you’, all the same.”

He pressed cool fingers to the side of my head and gently brushed the edge of my mind. I tried not to, but I trembled at his touch. Then the world that constantly echoed in my head grew silent, and I looked up at him, half terrified.

“There, I've just turned the volume down a little. You should find it easier to control now, learn to use it properly without resorting to madness or drugs. Go on. Try it.”

I tested the new walls. He was just on the other side, giving the mental equivalent of thumbs up. Behind that, I found just a whisper of his sadness and pain. I put out my hand, my instinct was to try and soothe, but he caught it and lowered it to my side.

“Don't,” he said, “it's not yours to deal with.”

I took a long breath and smiled sadly, “No.”

“I really should be leaving,” he said, “but there's a party going on downstairs. You should go; you're quite the hero now and they’re wondering where you’ve got to.” He paused, “particularly that engineer friend of yours. You know, I'll never understand how in the most desperate of circumstances human beings always find a stash of alcohol.”

“Just instinct, I guess.” I smiled, and he placed a soft, affectionate kiss on my cheek.

“Thank you.”

With that he turned to leave. I called to him, and he paused on the threshold.

“Your memories scare me. But I know what it's like, constantly fighting yourself. If you ever want to stop; just for a moment, when you need to, I will be here.”

He lingered silently just long enough to let me know he'd thought about it, and then he was gone.

I turned back to look at the failing light on the horizon, and listened to the sounds of happy people outside. It sounded strange, both the happiness and the quietness at the edge of my thoughts.

Sure, it isn't going to last, but what the hell. It’s been a long time since I went to a party.

I grabbed my jacket and headed downstairs.

*Fin*