Cognitive dissonance.
Jan. 6th, 2008 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
metztlimoonAfter a week of practising my left handed scribbling, I have encountered cognitive dissonance.
I am capable of making legible letters, words, and indeed whole SENTENCES. I am able, albeit awkwardly, and slowly, to do crosswords. I am so damn *pleased* with myself! A dyspraxic right hander who, with the use of only the left hand is communcating, writing, bathing, dressing, vidding and just about cooking.
But hold on, I'm crap. I'm useless. I go to peices so fast people get hit by shrapnel. WTF am I doing, actually succeeding at something? Quick, must immediately rectify this error by seeking evidence of my continuing shitness.
My vids are shit, I am fucking up everyone's life, I am not a nice person, look at the mess, total lack of washing up/tidying, SO, all the things I've messed up and failed at, and how everyone is trying to avoid me because I'm too old and boring for my friends.
Yay, much morecomfortable familiar ground here.
Stop making me think I can cope, damnit.... that way lies madness. (Particularly when It turns out I really am allowed to break a bit, but I forget and start hating myself for wibbling.)
I am capable of making legible letters, words, and indeed whole SENTENCES. I am able, albeit awkwardly, and slowly, to do crosswords. I am so damn *pleased* with myself! A dyspraxic right hander who, with the use of only the left hand is communcating, writing, bathing, dressing, vidding and just about cooking.
But hold on, I'm crap. I'm useless. I go to peices so fast people get hit by shrapnel. WTF am I doing, actually succeeding at something? Quick, must immediately rectify this error by seeking evidence of my continuing shitness.
My vids are shit, I am fucking up everyone's life, I am not a nice person, look at the mess, total lack of washing up/tidying, SO, all the things I've messed up and failed at, and how everyone is trying to avoid me because I'm too old and boring for my friends.
Yay, much more
Stop making me think I can cope, damnit.... that way lies madness. (Particularly when It turns out I really am allowed to break a bit, but I forget and start hating myself for wibbling.)
